BAd mood !!

10 june 2011

totally in bad mood right now !!!
caught a flu this morning AGAIN !!!
keep on sneezing...
then this morning , out of sudden...i am being called evil...

let me tell you why i am being addressed in such an awful word...not that i blamed person who called me like this...it was just hurting me...

in fact, it is because i am having a runny nose...so i really feel dejected about things happened today !!!

there was a cockroach in the lecture theater...i was telling my friend that it was not scary...it was disgusting...then they just misheard what i said...
then replied me..."if you feel it is cute, go and kiss it larh !!! "

i kept quiet...
later, i called out to one classmate :"your best friend leh !! " showing him towards the nasty cockroach...
God...i was just kidding...i didn't think it did any harm...

then, friend of mine...said loudly in front of people in the hall :" you are so evil leh !! "
was it ?? Was I considered evil by just making a little joke...???
that time...i kept quiet too...
now...i was burning inside...
why say like this ?? why ?? Am i really wrong ???




then, friends asked to go play pool...
i thought it was a good chance to build a good relationship among us...so i followed...
but i couldn't fit myself in...no topics...can't make jokes too...
my runny nose worsened the condition...causing my energy to be depleted !!!

what a bad experience?? some more, i couldn't even rebut for myself...just keep on being laughed...
and the most important point is i failed to joke around with them...
because i can't play with language...failed to twist the words too !! haizzz...
(p/s: i am so sorry to you..i know you don't like me thinking in this way, but these things really bother me, so you just leave me aside )




then...finally come back...thinking to have some space of my own...
but can't ...uncle at home...feel restricted...again...not my own house...have to behave myself...
haha...so haiz..further distract my mood !!!
soon, two cousins come back...
now...my mood is swinging...haiz...feel like so lazy...

hahahaha...i am a lazy worm that fails to achieve everything !!

then...dinner not nice for me...but i appreciate it...because my uncle bought it for me...
thank you...
however i am a pampered girl...so i don't really like the meal...haha

then...receiving several calls from aunt...then rushed to get it..but not in a mood to receive several calls in one time .... only added to my depressed feeling...

so...me again drown into the world of blaming again...




i realise now...it was not others' problem that i failed to be a trusted and close friend...
it was that i don't really spend time knowing their stuff....and i never examine their habits and lifestyle..
that 's why i am a loser in getting along well with friend and never be a trusted friend to anyone ...


i admire as you are really putting your heart to know everyone's feeling...
but i got my own way to concern about my friends...
willing to help them anytime...but maybe just not good enough...
i look at you..i feel sorry...what i can do is just too little...and maybe it is because i never put my heart in...is it so ??

i feel i am kind of fake...and i am totally immatured...can i say myself naive..??because i really never think too much in everything...i don't really spend time tackle out what those people real thoughts and intentions ...so i am really straight and i hate myself being like this...but people keep thinking i am not as simple as they see...

but how come this happens??

maybe i should change...for my own good...

so...bad mood ....> <